So, last month’s topic was acceptance of self.  Yup, there are parts of ourselves that are harder for us to accept than other parts.  Those shiny, happy fits of rage, the cruel and cutting words that sometimes leap out of our mouths, uh, that less-than-awesome person we may or may not have slept with last week that nobody needs to know about . . . and the list goes on.

ACCEPTANCE.  Whatever it WAS is in the past now!  All the guilt and remorse you may be currently feeling isn’t contributing to changing your past self. In fact, it’s only preventing you from really enjoying and healing your relationship with your current self.  Hey, have a laugh about it!  So you made a mistake.  Not the first or last time.  Let’s all get used to it- we’re humans.

Now, if your actions did adversely effect another being, after accepting this about BEAUTIFUL, RADIANT YOU, take accountability for them! Get resolution-oriented about it and transform the experience for the both of you! Say sorry and move forward.

Taking accountability is incredible.  Its liberating! It’s EMPOWERING!  Its rooted in the present moment, our spirit, our full potential.  It’s one of the most humbling, connecting, and powerful things I’ve ever learned to do.

Gotta make sure you really mean it, though!  Such a difference between a guilty or defense apology and a sincere one!  I like to close my eyes and place both hands on my heart and feel all of my love that I have for my friends, family, YOU, my life, etc., until I’m overwhelmed with the sensation of love and gratitude!  Totally a beautiful space to apologize and re-connect from.

Sometimes the sorry needs to be backed up by some intense actions.  Hey, I’ve been there.  If me being a slave to someone for all of a week is what it takes to get them to realize I love and value them in my life and am clearly faaar more invested in their happiness than I am in their suffering, rad.  Let’s do it!  Know your audience and know your limits, of course.  With the apology, you can ask, “How shall WE resolve this?”

Going on and on and ON about all of everything that went wrong and all of the hurt feelings, btw, is NOT a resolution.  Some people need that.  I, personally, don’t benefit from hearing this from myself or my loved-ones for more than a day.

Coming up with a mutually beneficial strategy that is DOABLE to prevent future pain = love-oriented communication in co-creation = everyone wins!

From my experience the nobody is really an asshole. Suffering is an altered state of consciousness.  When coming from pain, we create pain.  My last heartbreak, I was a BITCH! Yeah, my fuse was extra short and, yeah, I was totally unnecessarily rude or spiteful towards complete strangers.  Duh, I was acting out of pain and suffering, what’d ya expect?  Most of us are not out to intentionally hurt people.   But, it happens.

There’s this cool, super-easy Ho?oponopono execise.  Four sentences. “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.  I love you.”  Powerful.  You can read more about Ho’oponopona here – totally beautiful blog post.  Try it daily!  Even if you don’t have anything obvious to apologize for!  To me, apology is a reflection of accountability and accountability is a reflection of creativity.  I like to believe I am creating my life by my own design.  Regularly apologizing for all of the known and unknown helps me continue creating all my dreams into reality!

Intuitive acupuncture point to help with apologies and accountability coming up next week!