A little discussion on love and fear. The two main energies most of our decisions tend to come from. Gonna use the example of a potential relationship to outline the universally applicable message.
Fear & Love & Decision Making
A little discussion on love and fear.  The two main energies most of our decisions  tend to come from. Gonna use the example of a potential relationship to outline the universally applicable message.

We meet someone we feel an instant connection with.  We’re talking, all the wonderful physiological effects of meeting “the one.”  Heart racing, palms sweating, perma-grinning’ and more!  It feels awesome!  It feels right.  An unexplainable attraction to this person we’ve only really known for a short while.  Super comfortable in their presence.  All of everything seems to flow.  We start to hear background music that doesn’t really exist.  Colors are more vivid.  And we’re both going with it.  Whether it be for a single date, or a few months, both parties are engaged.  Both are present and emotionally involved.  Talk about connection!

Whether this person is the spitting image the exact package you anticipated your life-partner coming in, or if it’s one of those no-rhyme-or-reason-why-I-feel-as-drawn-to-this-person-type of things, you’re in it.  You love it.  You fantasize about this feeling, attraction, connection continuing forever and always.

Good for you!  You choose love!  Such bold willingness to explore something this beautiful and intense is a clear reflection of one’s open and courageous heart!

K, so not all of us can handle that.  For some of us, a time-stopping, mind-blowing connection simply feels, “too good to be true.”  Thus, we may subconsciously sabotage the relationship as to ensure it never really does become true.  In this way, whether consciously or not, we once again validate our current belief systems.  We may stop calling the person for whatever reason- we’re all so busy nowadays, yeah?  Or stop with the compliments when we’re with this person- heaven forbid we get carried away!

All sorts of actions we may not even be aware of only to validate beliefs such as “I’ll never fall in love,” or “life is hard,” or other dis-serving thoughts we’ve been functioning off for some time now.  I mean, if we’ve had these thoughts our entire lives, they’re gonna be kinda hard to let go of, yeah?  Like loosing an old, comforting friend.  Even if it is a limiting or negative friend, it’s a friend we know well and that’s where the comfort comes in.

For some, the reality of our dreams coming true is SCARY!  Sounds weird?  Think about all the insecurities that pop up when you’re really invested in someone (usually in the beginning stages of a relationship).

When we do find someone we enjoy as much, the fear of loosing them can inspire some pretty funky behavior.  Or how about the fear of disappointing them?  Ever experienced the fear of them knowing you inside-out?  What if they reject you once they know all your secrets?  Some fear becoming dependent on another to feel good.

Fears.  They come up.  Especially in areas of life that we value.  Pretty sure most of us value love and relationships.  Pretty sure most of us experience insecurities or fears in the early stages of relationships when nothing seems certain- and sometimes none of it seems practical or logical.

Some of us give into these fears.  Usually those of us that are fearful or get intimidated by change and growth.  Those of us who fear or think about all of everything that may go “wrong” more than we value or think about all of everything that may go right.  Get it?! Such basis for decision making is fear-based.

When we give into fear, we deny ourselves love.

Others of us choose LOVE!  We feel the intensity of the connection, acknowledge it to be rare and despite any insecurities or fears that inevitably rise, we move forward in alignment with all the wonderful, totally blissed-out feelings, and love-based thoughts the connection inspires!  We enjoy experiencing such an intense connection.  We realize it has huge potential to be all of everything we’ve ever dreamed of and we go with it!  We go for it!  Of course we may feel a little scared, we may be experiencing all of the exact same fears and insecurities as they are, even!  The difference is, we don’t give these fear-based thoughts too much power.  We realize all that can go “wrong,” and choose to risk it all cuz the pay-off of it all working out is so great!  Talk about a leap of faith!  Talk about an open-heart!  In my opinion, this is a very beautiful approach to love and life in general.

Yeah, the relationship may or may not work out.  The relationship may be only a single chapter in your life-story.  You, being the main character of your life-story, will continue onto the proceeding chapters after having entered a new space you don’t normally go.  This has the potential to change everything in the up-coming chapters.  When we try something new (like choosing to listen to the love-based thoughts in our head rather than the fear-based ones), we expand our consciousness and learn a few things about ourselves.  We deepen our connection with ourselves, enabling us to navigate through life with a stronger foundation.   We become our own best friends and find increasing ease and certainty with every proceeding step on our path.

This is why I choose love.  Not because of the anticipated outcome of each of my actions, but because it helps me be more me.  It helps me live up to my fullest potential.  It helps me get grounded and really embrace all the gifts the current moment has to offer.

To me, choosing love is about self-love and self-worth!  Don’t you deserve to have all your dreams come true?


meet our founder

Dr. Deganit Nuur is a world renowned spiritual teacher, clairvoyant, doctor of acupuncture, writer, and lecturer.
Besides being named “Top 15 Intuitives Globally” by Gwyneth Paltrow’s publication, goop, Nuur has been featured in
The New York Times, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and Forbes amongst other reputable publications.