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What most of you don’t know is that around this time last year I was in a deep depression. Depression has only ever hit me that hard twice. Once when I was 19 and once last year. A lot of what I’m about to say may echo our “Follow Your Heart! (Even When It’s Scary!)” blog, as it is a continuation of that same message.

At 19 when my depression started to affect my grades, my counselor suggested I withdraw from school for a semester, as that would look more favorable than having F’s on my transcript. I was an honor student. To take time off because I was doing poorly in school was mortifying. I was shocked at myself. However, I still couldn’t understand or help myself out of the situation. I was already into meditation and self-help books, I had a therapist, and I was exercising! Yet, something was so far off that my entire identity as an honor student was in question.

After the shock and shedding tons of ego, I felt FREE! No school for a semester? Naturally, this was followed by 5 months of backpacking solo across Europe. What started as a breakdown opened me up to a huge breakthrough and an entire lifetime of adventure and wonder! I learned more about world history in those 5 months than I had my entire career as a student! I learned more about humanity, psychology, sociology, and anthropology than I did receiving my BA in Human Development. That trip was so impactful and influential and could have easily never happened!

Needless to say, upon my return I was happy and feeling myself. I was aligned, had my priorities in order, and started thriving in school once again. Having that sort of time to myself to reflect, examine, meditate, explore, heal, and grow on my own time and in my own way was invaluable!

The Daoists know all about this, which is why they suggest we do exactly that every winter! Persians know all about this, which is why we celebrate Winter Solstice and take winter months to be more meditative and introspective.

I’m sure you know on a theoretical level how impactful introspection can be and that all the answers are within you! Have you experienced this on a practical level? When was the last time you set aside a lot of time for yourself? To journal, make art, meditate, cook, dance, tend to yourself, gently heal your wounds, and connect with all your answers?

Fast forward to 2015, when I have a solid meditation practice and all my Nuurvana dreams are coming true! Business is thriving! I have a powerful coven of wonderful, benevolent witches I trust and love working with! The center is humming and happy, clients are happy, healers are happy, renters are happy. On paper, all is wonderful and in alignment with every single goal I’ve ever set for myself! So why was I feeling so bummed out?

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself in all my dreams. I became my dreams and forgot I was the dreamer. I forgot that my entire life was an EXTENSION OF ME! It reminds me of the buddhist proverb, “Be careful the objects you own don’t own you.” For me, it was more my “success” started owning me.

As many of you know, I’ve majorly downsized since! I let go of our gorgeous center and broke up with a large majority of my then dreams! It was humbling. It was painful. Once again, I found myself focusing on all my hard work and all that I was “losing.” All the time, money, beautiful relationships, efforts, hopes, and dreams.

Once again, life showed me it truly does begin at the end of one’s comfort zone! Cute how I thought I was downsizing and ended up calling in the most magical coven of them all! Only this time through spirit and not ego.

I thought it was just gonna be me, my pup, and my theta brain waves this year. Boom, I received Ilka, Margarita and now Tim! I thought I wasn’t gonna make any money this year, and yet our reach has widely expanded through our courses and virtual sessions, and so many new referrals! Funny how I thought I needed my center in order to grow and yet not having one has opened me up to treating you in LA, Tulum, Costa Rica, Woodstock, and more!

As 2016 is coming to an end, please take a moment to reflect on all you’re leaving behind. Cut all them losses! I swear you’ll be gaining far more than you’ll be losing! Also reflect on all you’re calling in! Take a stand in your worth and watch as life reflects it right back to you!

Lastly, focus on all you are able to offer! What brings out the best in you? How can you do more of that? What ways do you love giving? Can you do more of that?

This is the perfect time of year to vision board and download our Manifestation Exercise or Become Your Future Self Now meditation to *vibrate* in alignment with all you’re calling in! The planning can happen later and often works itself out when we’re feeling worthy of our dreams! Let life surprise you and support you!

Please let us know all you’re leaving behind, all you’re calling in, and one thing you intend on offering in the Nu Year!