We can become so attached to a particular goal that we don’t see the value in the process. “I just hope it works out,” people will say. But is it possible that things already are working out? What if we look at the present moment rather than the end goal? In this sense, too much attachment to outcome blinds us from seizing the present moment and appreciating it for what it is.
Sometimes becoming overly attached to outcome causes people to overlook what is right beneath their noses. For example, I’ve witnessed people look right past their own spouses, parents, and children because they were fixated on the idea that another person could provide what they were seeking.
More often, when people are too attached to outcome in readings, they obstruct the messages I see and am trying to convey to them. In daily life, too much attachment to outcome can mean breaking one’s neck to achieve an otherwise easy task. Instead, one can stop to take a deep breath and consider that maybe the task doesn’t need to be resolved immediately. Maybe one’s energy could be better utilized by revisiting that task at a later time.
Attachment to outcome can manifest in a couple of ways: 1) being focused on a particular thing a person wants (e.g., a job, relationship, home, salary) or 2) not being open to outcomes a person has yet to acknowledge or admit they desire.
This second manifestation is clear to me in readings when a person is presented with a scenario they have not yet imagined, and they resist thinking that such a scenario could apply to them. This is not necessarily conscious.
We have a specific notion of who we are and who we are not, what we are capable and incapable of, and what we deserve and don’t deserve. It is how we have come to understand ourselves in the world. Sometimes those “attachments” are not always felt as such because we aren’t consciously holding on to a particular outcome. Instead, this kind of attachment is about having a deeply-rooted belief about who we are and what is possible for our lives.
Too much attachment to outcome in all its forms may be rooted in fear and/or a lack of trust in the universe and is an attempt at gaining control over our lives—a form of control we deploy in the hopes of protecting ourselves and keeping us safe. It is these kinds of beliefs that can become obstacles as we try to self-actualize and be in alignment with our highest selves.
This is not to say that feeling somewhat in control of one’s life is a bad thing. We are most certainly active agents in the co-production of our destinies, so sitting back and waiting for life to happen to us isn’t the answer either. The problem with attachment to outcome lies when we become overly fixated – even obsessive – about things working out in a very specific way. What is key, then, is to work toward our goals with some flexibility and openness. Sometimes this just means sitting back or meditating and taking in what messages come to us with as little attachment as possible. Another technique I have found useful is Exploding Roses.
Becoming unattached to outcomes can be easier for some topics than others. When you feel like you’re about to land yourself your dream job, the perfect partner, or the kind of home you’ve always longed for, it can be especially hard to remain open to possibility. In my opinion, these are the most important times to remain open and flexible, for too much attachment can actually prevent us from recognizing these important things we so desire when they are right before our eyes.
What are your experiences of being too attached to a particular outcome? How do you remain open and flexible with your goals? Please tell us in the comments section below!
Love and Light,
meet our founder
Dr. Deganit Nuur is a world renowned spiritual teacher, clairvoyant, doctor of acupuncture, writer, and lecturer.
Besides being named “Top 15 Intuitives Globally” by Gwyneth Paltrow’s publication, goop, Nuur has been featured in
The New York Times, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and Forbes amongst other reputable publications.