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It’s been a heavy past couple of months here at Nuurvana. I have heard so many tear-jerking stories. From abuse, to neglect, to addiction, to betrayal, to severe physical illnesses, and so much more. So many of us have been hurt. So many of us have hurt others, as well as ourselves. Lots and lots of stories. Lots and lots of pain.

It’s my job to illuminate that these are really just stories. One of my favorite quotes is, “We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spirits having a human experience.” When we remember that we are spirits having a human experience, we can view all these stories as part of our spiritual evolution.

Yup, even abuse, addiction, and terminal illnesses can be a part of our spiritual evolution. How we relate to these stories is what determines our growth and evolution. Another favorite quote, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” To me, suffering is re-creating the same story over and over again. Pain is a part of the human experience – for me, it’s been a HUGE stimulus for change and so I’m always grateful for it. It tends to be an indicator that I am not fully living in alignment with myself.  When I change the story, I transform the pain.  When I don’t, I suffer.

Viewing our life experiences as stories allows us to get a little less emotionally attached to the story and the outcome. It allows us to elevate to a more neutral space in our consciousness so we may tap into the big picture, the divine purpose of it all, and into our highest selves so we may help ourselves out of that particular story loop.

Say you were molested as a kid. And, yeah, I’m going there! I do feel very strongly about this and don’t want to “just call it a story” to make light of it- but rather to SHED LIGHT on a dark experience/story/moment in time.

So, let’s call this molestation story a lesson in helping you be more YOU. Viewing that particular moment in time as a story- one that you’re reading in a book or watching on a screen will help you see yourself and the big picture with a little more clarity.  Go through the facts and then notice the link between the facts and your interpretation of them.  What can you conclude about this story?  What opinions of yours has this particular story contributed to? How has this story influenced other parts of your life?

What LESSONS are in it for you?

It could be as simple as forgiveness. Or your interpretation of that particular story coulda been like, “It feels like I’m being punished for being pretty.  Like, it’s bad to be pretty.  I feel almost ashamed to say I do like the attention being pretty gets me sometimes.”  <– Lots to make peace with in that one.   Like; “It’s okay to be pretty,” “It’s okay to desire attention,” “Being pretty is a blessing not a curse,”  and how about, “Anyone that causes pain is clearly coming from a place of pain, so my prettiness is not what got me molested. Their own personal process is what was dictating their actions.”

Imagine mastering all those lessons?

When the lesson of that molestation story is mastered in Chapter 7 of your autobiography, it leads to being a famous model that writes self-love books by Chapter 20 of your fabulous story book. If that lesson is not mastered in Chapter 7, 8, 9, etc., it could lead to being in an abusive marriage with someone who you receive a lot of positive and negative attention from in Chapter 20. That is, you may just re-create the same story over and over again until that lesson is mastered.  (“It’s okay to be pretty.”  “It’s okay to desire attention.”  “I am worthy of love, not just attention.”)  When lessons are not mastered, most of our chapters have a similar theme to them. When lessons are mastered, the chapters tend to read new stories with entirely different lessons.

When we master the lessons our stories have to offer us, we heal and grow into new lessons. When we hold other people accountable for our lives and choose not to master these lessons, we tend to recreate the same story. Our stories are not always an accurate reflection of our spirit. How we relate to them will make all the difference in whether our spirit gets to shine through us or not. They are just stories.

Sometimes, it’s easier to start with the present-tense and then apply this practice to the past. I like to narrate all my day-to-day actions.

“At 8am, Deganit decided to leave her home and walk over to the gym. The sun was shining.  People were rushing past her to the train.  She arrived at the gym and went straight to the second floor to her favorite machine.” The play – by – play.  Simple.  No emotions, just actions.  No interpretations, just the facts.  It’ll help create more neutrality in your current life and more space for your spirit to shine through you.

Once you get a hang of it, you can apply the same concept to the past chapters of your story book. “At age 5, our little Deganit did not have a single friend to play with. She was not like the other children. Not physically or culturally. She sat alone in the school yard and watched all the other kids play.” Start with stating the facts and then see if you can get a feel of why your story played out that way? What were the lessons in it for you? A healthy curiosity helps.  Why didn’t I play with the other kids?  What was I feeling or expecting?  How does this show up in later chapters?  For me, I didn’t think I’d be accepted, so I didn’t even try.  Lessons: Self-Acceptance, Courage, Optimism.  “Closed mouths don’t get fed.”  <– I had to re-create this one quite a few times til I got it!

Obviously, this may get emotional and may be extremely difficulty to neutralize what what such an intense experience for you.  This is natural.  I encourage to still move forward with the exercise.  It does get easier and the rewards are so great! Start with the present and when you’re ready, you can start with a few less-charged stories from your past.

As most of you know, I’m one social girl who goes for what she wants.  Had I not mastered those early life lessons, I coulda been shy, insecure, lonely, and living a life I don’t particularly like right now.  My major lesson this year has been to SLOW. IT. DOWN.  What’s been yours?