Forgiveness Series | Completion Exercise
Posted on: Mar 20, 2015
Love love LOVE it when y’all come in looking for ways to forgive! YES!!! Way to focus in on YOUR happiness and be willing to let go of that which does not serve you! The fact that you’re even asking and so willing to forgive (rather than play the blame-game) is HUGE! Congratulations on being here! The Forgiveness Series includes my favorite exercises for forgiveness – from writing to chanting to praying to visualizing. Use one, use all, lemme know how it goes!
A good question to start off with is, “Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?”
Choosing to be right validates our ego. Choosing to be happy validates our spirit. For me, I feel this very strongly in my body. When I choose to be right I tense up and make kind of a scowl. I’m so focused on the other person “getting it,” that I lose sight of mySELF and my happiness. In choosing to be right, we are actually giving our power away ~ either to the other person or to the situation. When choosing to be happy, I feel calm, peaceful, light and liberated. My body feels more like it’s melting. The focus is on ME and not them or it. I could care less if they ever get it, and it feels so good! Choosing happiness actually EMPOWERS us!
If having a hard time choosing happiness, then this first exercise is for you! It’s a writing exercise to help you get complete on a situation. May it help you feel validated and understood by yourself (!) so you may release the need to feel validation from others.
1. Completion Exercise
This is a 3 letter series to help us let go of the pain and let in the insight.
First Letter | Blame Letter : That’s right! This is your chance to really, REALLY play the blame game. One of the only times I’ll ever advocate this, so go wild! Write a letter to the person, feeling or situation you would like to forgive in which you really ham up the victim role. I affectionately call this the “Fuck you letter” :
Fuck you! You suck! I hate you so much! You ruin my day all day every day. I think you’re ugly and dumb and so unhelpful. You can suck it for all I’m concerned! How dare you creep in and tell me that me taking an hour to myself is not okay? How dare you hijack all my thoughts and creep up every time I’m enjoying myself? Fuck. Off.
Again, go wild! Take as many pages/as much time as you need. Until your blood is no longer boiling, the tears have stopped, and you’ve run out of hurtful words to say 😉
Second Letter | Acknowledgement Letter : After getting all the feelings out, self-indulging and self-validating, we are now ready to get our power back! Write a letter in which you acknowledge your role in the situation:
Okay, I get it. I know I could have stood up for myself and agreed to disagree. Instead, I chose to listen to you even though it did not resonate with me. I acknowledge that I had the opportunity to voice my truth at hour 1 of the situation. I had that same opportunity at hours 2, 3, 4, etc. I realize I am bigger that you and I don’t “have to” continue to listen to you. Though it felt intense, I know no one was holding a gun to my head and forcing me to do anything. I volunteered to give my power away. I get it.
If this one is too challenging, you may need to revisit the first letter and spend some more time there until you’re ready to take accountability and that’s okay. Please honor your process. You’ll get here soon enough!
Third & Final Letter | Gratitude Letter : My favorite! This is where all the insight comes in! Where the lessons are illuminated and we’re so tapped into why it all had to go down that exact way. It’s all spirit! All elevated perspective. Everything does happen for a reason, right?
Omg, THANK YOU! That last exchanged felt so icky, I know I’ll never listen to you again! Thank you so so much for teaching me how to stand up for myself! Thank you for helping me tap into my intuition and live my truth. Thank you for helping me value myself and feel worthy. Thank you for filtering out dis-serving relationships for me.
This is such a powerful exercise in shifting from the mind to the heart. From attachment to forgiveness. From ego to spirit. From fear & illusions to LOVE! Try it out, wontcha? Please comment below and let us know how it goes!